Teach Jim.com

Cancer and concern are cares that often come together. The cancer patient is concerned for their situation and their family, friends and caregivers show concern for the patient. Hard times and challenges can bring pity for self and others.

It is just so hard. They don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve this. How can this be happening? Concerns over physical health and emotional well being cause us all to feel for those in this situation.

Today I learned of Devin, a 15 year old cancer patient who was not doing well. He had every right to be discouraged and depressed. So did his visitors, family and friends. He could have looked into his heart and focused on his sad position.

For some like Devin the seeking sorrow in self-pity just is not in their language or life. Sure the struggle was tough but Devin had a perspective worthy of us all.

He asked for a small refrigerator for his 15th birthday, his last. In the refrigerator he stored sodas for his visitors. He made a sign for the refrigerator door:

“The Soda Factory — come depressed and leave refreshed.”

He then helped his visitors to find “refreshment” in their interactions with him and their shared soda.

The simple truth is that Devin was living the solution to self-pity. He was teaching lessons on how to face personal sorrow.

The principle of life is this: simple sincere service is the stuff that takes our minds off our own situation.  Sypathetic words spoken softly, a listening ear, and shared feelings from the heart just may be enough to move yourself and others off the path of self-pity.

This is a simple service with deep power to the people involved. Listen from the heart.  Speak from the heart.  Share a heartfelt story.  Carry on a conversation.  Share in their concerns.  Understand their situation.  See in your troubles the situations of those around you.  As you are talking about solutions to THEIR situation your own answers may surface.

Simple acts of concern can take us on a journey of service and understanding which reveal to our heart and minds solutions for our own situation.  Self-pity is overcome by service.  Sometimes this service is simple.  It may be nothing more than a radiant smile but it just may be enough to keep you and I on the positive path of personal progress.

Resolve with me to share in someone’s struggles. See if the service doesn’t lighten the burdens you bare.

Bregetta, our neighbor died today. She was 100 years old and called me a “Smart Alec” just 4 weeks ago. I was honored. The last few weeks have been hard on the family and on Bregetta.

Life is amazing. Bregetta made you appreciate what you can do with what you are given. The last few years she lived in the chair in the living room serving the world. That is right. She knitted caps and socks for premature newborns, Leper wraps and doilies for friends and family. She was always a joy to visit with as she would share a story of service from her past.

Today at church they announced her passing. The significance of the event did not seem to register. The announcement came across as just another event. It was not intended to be disrespectful. Here is how it came out:

… We got news just before this meeting. Earlier today Bregetta died. (slight pause) There is no vollyball this week. (pause) Next week Thursday there is a skills clinic for volleyball at ….

The announcement was likely made in the context of “life goes on” even on the day a centenarian dies. It left me with an empty and hollow feeling.

Life goes on for each of us. Tomorrow will again be “The first day of the rest of your life… Live it like it is your last because someday it will be.” Like it was today for Bregetta.

Reading earlier this week in The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson I read some thoughts about what others think about us. How at our funeral only a few people are likely to cry. It also stated that what will determine if people come to the actual burial is the weather. If it is raining 50% are likely to be “No Shows”.

So, what is it we can do today to be of good in the world like Bregetta was from her chair. Can we see our own funeral or the last day of our life? What will those we love be saying about us? Can we visualize today what those attending our funeral will say to about us. It is likely many will not be crying. What will the people in our lives today remember when they hear about us in a passing announcement someday:

“… Earlier today we got news that __________ passed away. (Slight pause) There will be no volleyball this week…”